I don’t like the World I live in.
It’s people are so meanspirited. When your nice other people are suspicious, even to the point of being unhappy. And OMG are other people ever insecure! Its why I choose to stay to myself because I don’t like dealing with other peoples control issues or insecurities! Hey, dealing with your shit is YOUR job, not mine.
All I want to do is enjoy my life which seems kind of impossible or perhaps I’m not meeting the right kinds of people. So where are they? I’ve met plenty of weird, sociopathic,insecure, and ever so ignorant folks, perverts too. So were are all the good ones?
The stable minded people? The nice people? Because I sure haven’t met many. I’ve never met so many anti social-with -mean-streak -a-mile-wide-types in my life.
Can’t say I care much for 21st Century America. It’s people SUCKS! But I keep on keeping on in the hopes that one day I’ll meet that someone special who truly appreciates me for the wonderful woman that I am.
So far? That just hasn’t happened. It seems that the majority of people I’ve met so far really lack any kind of substance in their personality. Mostly the good quality kind. Its like walking in a negativity mind field. I just don’t understand it either. Because I’ve had a HORRENDOUS childhood! And no one cared to get me through the really difficult times either. I’ve been separated from my Mother at childhood for FOUR years with no phone calls which I wasn’t allowed to do by both my vindictive Father & his bitch of a 2nd Wife Broom Hilda….OH WAIT did I say Broom Hilda? What I meant was ______________ Broom Hilda is my nickname for that bitch. And it just never got any easier because I have a mental illness and it seemed everyone made fun of me & called me the neighborhood retard. I had learning issues, anger issues, and everything else under the sun.
And it didn’t stop either! Just like long addition everyone? All this shit carried over like a long math problem & along with it all of the baggage that was heaped onto my shoulders by an assortment of evil negative folks throughout my life. And you know what I STILL have a nice personality. That is until recently, because now I don’t want to talk to anyone. It has taken year after very painful year too. I just don’t trust anyone.
I constantly forget that nice people even exist out in this World. Maybe some of you could leave me messages of hope on here. I sure could use it. And I’m real serious too.
I live alone, have no friends and only real minimal family. And if you think that its easy dealing with all of this than you must be so totally out of your mind, or in complete denial which seems to be the norm out here in the ever NOT so wonderful World.
I just deserve MORE!