Bitter To The Core

I’m at the local library taking advantage of the Wi Fi that’s offered here.

It’s the only highlight of my day it seems.

I don’t have cable & for good reason its expensive, can’t afford it, all of what’s broadcast on the networks & cable channels is pure shit!   So I spend time at the library   .    I’m bitter today, not a happy camper.   I’m angry.    Angry at the World.    So I come to the library, order up something on Amazon.com to arrive in a few days & I guess hope for the best.    Not much luck with the search with mental health, the low cost ones tell me “Sorry  nothing’s available”.    So I’m saving something here & something there so I can go to at least  sessions to start with then do the best that I can to pay.   I don’t have much!   I often feel short changed in life.   I always feel this way.    Seems like when I was coming up no one wanted to be bothered with helping me on anything, whether it was with school, growing up…..just nothing, nada, zip!    Now I seem to notice there are all kinds of help for youngsters who had the exact same problems I had but when I was young it was MY PROBLEM & NO ONE WANTED TO GET INVOLVED!    Life sure is a cruel BITCH!

Crazy Mother, no Father, no siblings, no friends.     I’m sure sinking fast on this boat aren’t  I ?   The Seattle Seahawks are playing tonight its all anyone is talking about.     As for me?    I really could care less!   I’m in pain.

I feel adrift in a sea of hopelessness!