So where do I find them. Quality friends who accept me for me and for not what OTHER PEOPLE want me to be. Know what I mean? That means not ridiculing me, not demeaning me and not being mean to me. So far I’m batting 0 for 1 million in the finding quality friends department.
I spent New Years Eve in an hospital inpatient facility. It wasn’t bad except when I was checking in it was pretty demeaning for which I won’t go into detail. I just didn’t want to be alone is all. I checked out after only 3 days because I had differences with the hospital social worker whom I felt really wasn’t listening to me.
I wanted help with my current living situation. I live alone & its hard. I’m now adapting, however I don’t want to renew my lease. I’m researching other possible living situations that are better suited for me.
Living with mental illness all on your own is 10 times harder than when you don’t have a M.I.
It’s just not easy. I must figure every single step of my life all on my own w/o any support. I sure don’t have that luxury folks! Life sure isn’t a picnic!
But, despite the hardships I endure I have goals which are:
1. Vocational school -possibly a first responder EMT
2. A better living environment for myself
3. find quality friends
4. No more pining away for a relationship, b/c I don’t want one
5. No longer desire a same sex relationship, given up, possibly may want a boyfriend in the future someone stable, mature and who doesn’t have alot of baggage. Women just don’t meet that criteria, and I know after 3 decades of hanging with them.
6. Get a job & go to school
7. Go to NAMI support groups
I still face challenges I just kind of go through my day by not really caring what anyone thinks & by ignoring people out on the street. I don’t trust anyone! Remember I am a woman who is ALWAYS traveling alone & on the bus.
8. I continue to ask for your prayers, I’m doing somewhat better emotionally but the days are still very much a struggle.
I need a good friend!