Racism, Bigotry Back In Vogue? Actually they never went away

You know?
I’ve never really known a time when someone wasn’t hating on me.
I’ve received so much racial hate, been called names (real insulting ones)
that I think that I would faint from shock if I were treated nice
I’m African American. When I’m nice I get kicked in the gut (not literally)
If I happen to have a bad day, then it’s like:
“See what did I tell you, those black people (insert some negativity)
Especially here in the State I live in where the people seem to live in a perpetual time machine
dating the 1950’s, where race is concerned.
I’m not sure about other States across the nation but I can say that Washington State is pretty bad.
I’ve now nicknamed this place “The State That Time Forgot”.
Perhaps if I joined the right kinds of clubs. I am looking into it after all when your wearing many hats in your own life, have no help or encouragement….and I mean NEVER have any help, a person tends to get exhausted with all the stuff that needs to be done.
I don’t know how many of you out there live in Washington, or, perhaps you live elsewhere, but this State is so socially isolating for it’s black women residents.
We’re invisible.
It sucks even more when there is no family support. My family is into medical marijuana & watches TV.
I like: Martial arts, jogging, all things outdoors, going to the driving range to hit golf balls ( No really its pretty fun).
How I keep going is a mystery to me.
I often feel like the last person on Earth or something.
Which brings me to the reason I typed this blog to begin with.
I have the TV on. I’m house sitting this week. The lady I house sit for has cable, so there is this new show coming to TV called “The Last Man On Earth”. Usually I’m a cynic when it comes to anything on TV since I don’t subscribe to cable at my own apartment.
But the premise of a guy all alone on planet Earth struck such irony with me that I kind of find the show a little bit appealing.
In one preview scene the guy in question is in an empty bar room talking to a football. The football had a face painted on it. Just like that Tom Hanks movie where he is stranded on an island talking to a volleyball.
I’m so used to all this alienation that I’m now numb to it.
I think I may be shut down emotionally.
A protective emotional thing I guess.
My life is like a bad nightmare that I wish
I would awaken from.
I would like to hear some positive feedback from some of you women who either have had or currently have issues of social isolation. White, black, or whatever. My journey is so exhausting.
Well at least I don’t waste my time away sitting in front of the TV