A.A. So Glad I Left & Never Looked Back!

A jury found a Newbury Park man guilty of sexually assaulting two women he met through Alcoholics Anonymous programs. After about a two-week trial in Ventura County Superior Court, jurors on Thursday voted unanimously and found William Beliveau, 64, guilty of one felony count of sexual penetration of an adult woman while she was intoxicated, said […]

via AA member found guilty of rape of two AA women Newbury Park, CA Posted on July 28, 2017 — Stop13stepinaa’s Blog

Family On The Decline

Where is the last post that I blogged about this topic 2 years ago?  I tried to pull it up on WordPress because I like to read my own blog essays, when I get that dumb message on Word press citing the following: “Oops seems like we can’t find that page”.  Can’t find my page that I typed 2 years ago?  My question is “Well were did it go”?   Is it buried with Jimmy Hoffa?   I’m incensed!  Soooo ,  I will write another blog.   I swear everyone sometimes I feel like what I say just doesn’t matter to anyone else but me.   This page is the only place were I feel that I have a voice!  When I was a little girl I didn’t have one.   Which brings me to the title of this article.    The family today has gone down the toilet.   Down the toilet.

You have Fathers that don’t stick around and what I mean by stick around I mean LEAVING.   And if by chance that the Father is in the house well that isn’t much better because everyone if said Father is working and you never see him that isn’t much better.  Example:  As a child I had a step mother (odious woman that ever lived) who would intentionally send me to bed (7-8PM) so I wouldn’t see him.  In the mornings before I would go to school, while seated at the breakfast table there would be Dad seated slurping his cereal hiding behind a newspaper.  You know I don’t even know if he even knew if I was there at all!  On the weekends when not working Father would be home watching sports were  all else would be tuned out, you could drop the atom bomb around him he would still be watching sports on that damn tv.   Do you know my friends that up until recently I hated every sport!   I like soccer, sometimes baseball but that’s because of the wonderful diversity.   However here in America families are falling apart and it’s the kids that pay the price believe me this I know!  Being raised in a single parent home is really awful I will tell the truth.  Here is why everyone.  Often the Mother will feel overwhelmed & she will blame it on the child, this I know all too well.   Don’t know about some of you but my Mother is mentally unstable she would scream at the top of her lungs, threaten with bodily harm, throw things, throw temper tantrums, scream about the cost of living & do all this to a CHILD!   A message to all you single parents:  Please don’t take out your stress on your child please!  If it gets too much for you then ship the kid off to a boarding school or a military school.   If money is an issue there are scholarships.   Anything is preferable to the instability your giving your child.    Why must the child always pay for the damn parents mistake?   Parents handle your business if you are unable to care for your kids you must let them get emancipated from you so that they can have a chance at a normal stable life.

I sure wish to God I could have had that option of emancipation from my Mother offered to me.  Because all I ever wanted was a stable loving environment in which to grow up in.     To be continued……. 

I Don’t Deserve To Be Vilified.

African American women are vilified.  Yes I’ve said it & it’s true.  All one needs to do is go no further than your good ole internet type in Black women then wait for that good ole drop down box and just take your pick.  Trust me none of it is too nice.   I’m tired of being vilified.   I’m tired of people referring to black women as difficult, angry, crazy, and the negatives go on & on.

You all out there need to get educated real fast on what its like growing up in an African American home.   Two words everyone.  Corporal punishment.   It’s the staple in the majority of homes & used frequently on African American kids whenever there is a mistake made, if we speak out of turn, or if there is anything perceived as a threat or whatever!  It is an extremely stressful environment that we grow up in.   Of course it is whenever there is threat to bodily harm a child.

Belts while naked (just like a slave) ping pong paddles, punches sometimes, hair pulled (especially when one has nice hair that everyone admires) , sent to bed early so you can’t spend time with your Father, sent out to care for a step parents elderly mother on your bicycle 4-5 times weekly.   And the daily interrogative techniques used on a child just like you see on shows like “First 48”.  Before you shame, judge, vilify African American women please THINK before you leap to judgement

I Love A Good Tan!

One of my favorite places on earth isn’t Disneyland but Hawaii.  I love the place it’s blue water, beaches, friendly people.  But most of all the tan on people.   I’m watching my favorite tv classic Magnum P.I. and that its got me homesick for the islands.   Here in the pacific northwest people are pasty, skinny, and on a whole unhealthy looking with its beta males & aloof people.   Oh please the comparison is like comparing different planets.   I’ve just had an inspiration to decorate my apartment all things Hawaiian and I mean everything.    From plants to wall mural.    I know that I’m not the first person who hates where they live & desired to live elsewhere but I really feel I am misplaced living here.   It’s like someone stole me from a family from one location then placed me in another.   Now I must find my way home.    As far as I’m concerned I can go home again.

When I was a youth there just was NOTHING!

It’s very hard for me not to feel resentment for today’s youth.  They seem to have all kinds of support & society that cares how they are doing.  Growing up in the 1970’s African American there wasn’t shit!  You were ignored, neglected and your hair could be on fire and no one seemed to care.   You were on your own.  How come?   I have some theories:  such as institutional racism that’s a big one in fact I’ll wager that it is the major reason.   Now today everyone cares about the youth.  I see commercials “Lets make sure these kids have everything they need”  I’m like oh give me a f**king break!  I was only 5 when a white teacher screamed bloody murder over a baggy of grapes that I accidentally took off of a shelf.  I’m thinking that here in America that its really full of hypocrisy.   Just like the old Janet Jackson song I fell like: “what have you done for me lately”?  If you acted out then you got sent OUT of the classroom to the principals office.  Basically school felt like a prison it’s wild children were like inmates, teachers the corrections officers.  It was like a zoo.   I feel like this:  where were the same people who are now looking after the youth & that are watching their back, were  these same people when I was growing up?  Talk about being:

Left out

Left behind

No one giving a damn about you.

Where oh where was the treatment of human dignity?

Thanks for failing my generation!

And some wonder why I’m angry.

DAAAMN Seattle Sure Has Changed!

And not for the better either!   I’m talking pure evil gentrification.  Its so bad that when you go into certain areas it’s turned into a prejudice, uncomfortable experience whenever a black woman goes into town say for an appointment.  For those of you who don’t understand gentrification what it basically means is the raising of property, rents, everything to like 1000%.  Then driving out people of color primarily Black & brown OUT of the area further away ( as far as possible it seems) into other cities.   Seattle is basically so white that when I went to Capitol Hill I GOT STARES & GLARED at.   I’ve lived in this damn city since the 70’s and I feel unwelcome?  I mean it truly sucks.  People lacking in any tan, anorexic looking like anorexic drug addicts (hey maybe that’s how these people stay so skinny) its disgusting.   I had an appointment with my case manager at  _____________ a non profit agency I was lucky enough to find to help assist me with getting my life on track.  My case manager is real nice at least she goes beyond color.  I may be intelligent, resilient, but even I need help if I’m going to make it because this world really kicks you in your gut!

After my appointment was finished I had to wait for my ride to come pick me up.  If your familiar with Seattle it’s famous for these two things people unfriendly that you could freeze ice on their ass & the traffic.    So I’m sitting outside the agency, it’s a nice day out for a Seattle summer.   First thing I hear is a dog yelping loudly.  Second I see were the noise is coming from, the dog is yelping from the back seat of an Audi SUV.  Now the windows were half open, the car was parked under the trees, it was 72 degrees give or take.   However it was what I noticed next that disgusted me.  The owner a tall, pale , skinny white man walks over to the car opens the back door to his suv, leans in, then the prick starts punching his own dog, shaking his own dog, then pointing at it with his long pale arm being totally the abusive asshole that he is.   Total dick move , no wait, it goes beyond that it was a COWARDLY MOVE!  He IS NO MAN!  The skinny white man was with his woman.  Now I’m thinking if he treats his dog this way imagine how he treats his partner or whoever.  No wait,  I think that the woman he was with works for him  it was just a hunch.   Tell me something why are white gay man so goddamned mean & insensitive??  They hate people of color for sure as I noticed when I sat down at a vacant table next to a young white boy in girly looking hot pants shorts he seemed  irritated that I sat in the adjoining vacant table that he got up & left which  was  a relief for me, but it seems to me that White Gay men despite having all their money, cars, along with their white privilege are just never happy unless they’re hurting something or someone.  So back on the subject of Attila the Hun hurting his dog  I calmly sat observing him I was about 2 feet away however I was felt pure disgust! The people of Seattle’s Capitol hill fall on two extremes either too snobby & racist (I can pick up subtle racism like horse manure) and on the other end are the poor homeless people that I see walking around and do you know what?  It’s the homeless people that walk around that seem more human than the people putting on airs sitting their ass at the tables eating overpriced health food.   I definitely felt the chill, the hate, and everything in between on this day.   But the worst of all everyone was the animal cruelty . I’m sure that this dick head knows nothing about anyones rights nor how to act humanely want to know how I know.  After this piece of shit beat his dog HE WENT RIGHT BACK to eating his F**king  lunch!  Wow hope it was good dude.

To the effeminate guy.  If you want someone to be nice to you TRY being nice to someone else I mean that’s what your protesting under that rainbow flag right?  Well good, but it wouldn’t hurt is all I’m saying.  Cause your not all that I would have even talked to you it’s not hard to meet me.  See your now the one STEREOTYPING+ showing intolerance! and doesn’t feel good for me.  But I have a thick skin so after a kick in the gut I dust myself off & I just keep on truckin!