Another Lousy Summer

Summer 2017 is the LOUISEST!  Major depressive!  No quality people.   All I did was sleep!   I don’t have anyone to talk with.  I have to tell you that therapists?  are really crazy!  I feel that they drain me.   I never get what I need from them & I’m the one in need of the damn treatment!  This summer just sucks!  

I Know About Intolerance. I encountered it everyday of my life.

Since I was five years old all I ever experienced was intolerance.

First time I experienced it was the 17 year old cousin who viciously beat me up shoving me around like a rag doll because he was jealous I was getting all the attention I was receiving from other relatives, I was 5 at the time. My Mother, Stepfather & I were in town for the Stepfathers Mothers funeral.   We stayed at the Stepfathers brothers house.   The cousin was a mean son of a bitch you all know the type spoiled rotten and not much of a man.  Karma caught up with him i.e. poor health, so he’s dead.    Through the years I’ve faced so much discrimination it seems from the moment I even open my mouth to say anything.   Being articulate has worked against me for so many years way before we elected our first African American president.   I was always intelligent and in my opinion smart enough to have been enrolled in honors programs…..that is if anyone bothered to even notice I was there!   No attention whatsoever.   I say racial bias.   Others may say something else.  I get triggered easily due to the unfair & abusive treatment I received throughout the years.   How can I not?   Take for example that new  show coming out about the character on the  The Big Bang Theory (don’t watch it)  now there will be a show about the lead character Sheldon’s childhood & how bright he was having went to high school as a mere child.    

I had issues with it.   It rubbed me the wrong way because as a child I was real smart, asked tons of questions, read voraciously anything I could get my hands on, however it seemed to me that no one wanted to be bothered.   Not the teachers, my parents were , well actually my Mother was too busy being a punching bag to the former Marine my step dad.    I was SHAFTED.    I even ran for class president didn’t win simply due to bias.    I went to congratulate the winner & all he did was ignore me like I wasn’t even there!   Yes that affected me.   I felt cheated.   Now currently I’m trying desperately to make up for lost time.   It sucks.   More examples of intolerance with which I received

Getting out of the military I can remember going to:

The veterans regional office (they just were no help, they offered me zip in services contrary to what most people believe)

A Job employment agency were I was treated no better than a lamp post, “Here take this card with the address report to _________________”    “NEXT”!

The Center For Career Alternatives located in Seattle –  I would meet with the counselors who were always MALE & who seemed to have some kind of chip on their shoulder about something, all I got was treated poorly + I never did get any help from them.   I think that they viewed me as someone that was less than deserving of help?  I also suspected something more sinister but that is something I can’t prove.   Just a gut feeling I had.

The Goodwill Employment Training program in  2000.   Attempted to get into the program that year I arrived at the orientation a couple of minutes late & the facilitator lady was REALLY verbally abusive towards me when it wasn’t necessary.   I mean she was NASTY towards me & she humiliated me right in front of EVERYONE.  A simple polite but firm “your late” would have sufficed, but again there was that nasty intolerance on her part.   If memory serves me this same person also made mention that she was happily married & that her wedding dress cost a couple thousand dollars!  What did this have to do with any job training at Goodwill? nothing, but I guess bragging about what she had made herself feel better.

The Air Force recruitment office.   The recruitment officer there showed ZERO interest that I completed my enlistment in the U.S. Army, had gotten out with an honorable discharge , he just didn’t seem interested in any of that.   Oh, he also said that despite my having served honorably in addition to completing my enlistment that I would have to start ALL OVER again if accepted into the air force.   Something I felt wasn’t right, I knew something about these things & felt that I should have entered with some rank & I felt that I should by pass basic training altogether.   He didn’t explain squat to me & by his demeanor he didn’t give a shit.   I was 22 years old at the time in great shape (the cut off to join is 27 years old)   .   Again I felt that it was bias treatment, but I couldn’t really prove that.    Again I was deflated.   I think that it was around this time that I simply DRIFTED .    I visited my Father in Los Angeles collected unemployment then just wandered around, going to Hollywood, Santa Monica.   I was lost.

No family support.   My Dad when he was alive  & with whom I lived with was never home….just like when I was a kid.   He was a transient.   I had brothers but they were always into some kind of trouble & never home.

I guess my point is that I feel that when it comes to receiving any fair treatment?   Certain people still remain at the bottom of the food chain.   It’s who you know in this society.    I know that no one does care about me, and it’s what makes me tough.   It’s very difficult but I’m very tough.   I just wish that in this so called  racially prejudiced society that when they say a more tolerant society please include women of color to that list!   I know all too well about institutional racism,  it exists!  It exists for Black on black, white on black.  

As far as all these other issues I would prefer to focus on myself because I know all about UNFAIR + intolerance over the way I look & speak.  It’s been a lifetime for me people.   Until I can get what I need will I even begin to focus on the intolerance of others because I can say this to ANY of you out there please do NOT compare being ( include the issue) to being African American it isn’t the same at all!    I need the tolerance & love.    All this stuff about gender neutral bathrooms, among other stuff coming up is way more than I can handle.   I need first for my needs to be met.    Understand?

Lets Talk about Colin Kaepernick, And the evil NFL

I’ve never liked the NFL ever since I was a CHILD like 10 years old or so.  I hated those sports casters all of them too arrogant, too male (oh look at us we rule the world bullshit)  so this goes back many years.    Well everyone, that sure hasn’t changed.  If anything the NFL has gotten WAY worse!   It’s exploitive , it does not care about it’s African American atheletes.   Plain & simple.   The whole organization is run by Donald Trump supporters.   It’s this reason I applaud Colin Kaepernick for first sitting out then after a few games kneeling in protest against the national anthem.    For those of you not familiar with who Collin Kaepernick is why not go to Wikipedia to read his bio he came from a difficult background although he was fortunate in his childhood to be adopted by a loving couple.  I’ve cut & pasted his stance on the national anthem.   Home of the brave, land of the free?  SMH.

Before a preseason game in 2016, Kaepernick sat down, as opposed to the tradition of standing, during the playing of “The Star-Spangled Banner”. During a post-game interview, he explained his position stating, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder”, referencing a series of events that led to the Black Lives Matter movement and adding that he would continue to protest until he feels like “[the American flag] represents what it’s supposed to represent”.[52][52][53][54] In the 49ers’ final 2016 preseason game on September 1, 2016, Kaepernick opted to kneel during the U.S. national anthem rather than sit as he did in their previous games. He explained his decision to switch was an attempt to show more respect to former and current U.S. military members while still protesting during the anthem after having a conversation with former NFL player and U.S. military veteran Nate Boyer.[55] After the September 2016 police shootings of Terence Crutcher and Keith Lamont Scott,[56] Kaepernick commented publicly on the shootings saying, “this is a perfect example of what this is about.”[57]
Kaepernick soon became highly polarizing as numerous people took public stances either supporting or maligning Kaepernick’s actions; in many cases this polarization correlates with racial divisions.[58] Various members of the NFL and other athletes across the United States, such as Megan Rapinoe, also began kneeling and/or raising their fist like the 1968 Olympics Black Power salute during the playing of the U.S. national anthem. Some U.S. military veterans voiced support using the social media hashtag “veterans for Kaepernick”.[59] In the following weeks, Kaepernick’s jersey became the top-selling jersey on the NFL’s official shop website.[60] An NFL fan poll was taken during the beginning of the 2016 NFL season and Kaepernick was voted the most disliked player in the NFL; this poll was polarized, with 37% of caucasians disliking him “a lot”, and 42% of African-Americans liking him “a lot.”[58] A few people posted videos of them burning Kaepernick jerseys. Former NFL MVP Boomer Esiason called Kaepernick’s actions “an embarrassment” while an anonymous NFL executive called Kaepernick “a traitor”.[61] The 2016 NFL season also saw a significant drop in their television ratings. Polls suggest that fans boycotting the NFL because of Kaepernick-inspired protests were a contributor to the decline in viewers.[62] He also claims to have received death threats.[57]
On August 25, 2017, NFL Hall of Famer and longtime civil rights activist Jim Brown told an interviewer at ThePostGame.com that he’d never desecrate the flag or “The Star-Spangled Banner” as Colin Kaepernick did during the 2016 season. “I’m an American,” said Brown. “I don’t desecrate my flag and my national anthem. I’m not gonna do anything against the flag and national anthem. I’m going to work within those situations. But this is my country, and I’ll work out the problems, but I’ll do it in an intelligent manner.”[63]

Intelligent manner?  Jim Brown what have you been smoking?   Wake up brother!  The flag isn’t representative for everyone, if it were would we have police getting away with the murder of so many African Americans?   I would strongly  SUGGEST YOU watch the last few minutes of the movie directed by Spike Lee called School Daze,   listen to what Laurence Fishburne screams at the very end of the movie…okay.   He’s not screaming that to be a lunatic….its a message.   Go on YouTube type in : ending of the movie School Daze.   I guess that everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how tight the blindfold may be.   Thanks for reading everyone.  

My Thoughts While Riding The Disabled Van

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Good Morning to you all over the World!  I appreciate you all that take time to read me.  Okay I got that out the way.   I have something on my mind.   I ride a van

This van is paid for by the County of the state I live in , it’s called paratransit.  I usually ride it on long trips.    As part of the ride the driver usually has to pick up other passengers, I’ve gotten used to it & sometimes it makes the rides interesting.

Well!  On a ride coming home from another county the driver of the van had to pick up a volunteer prison chaplain  at the county jail.   Now this particular gentleman isn’t a bad guy he just likes to talk a little bit too much & worse he tells the CORNIEST jokes, I mean the kind were you shake your head or cover your head in your hand.   So, when the driver of the van announced that we were going over to the county jail to pick up the prison chaplain (I’ve rode with him before you see) I kind of groaned.   But I was in an okay mood, plus there was nothing I could do about it anyway.   So, the prison Chaplin boards the van & immediately he starts talking all the way to his seat.  In fact he didn’t stop.

 The chaplain then turned around in his seat (with his seat belt still fastened) to talk to me about the inmates he does outreach to.  But here is what he said:  “Well the only difference between me & the inmates is that I haven’t gotten caught”.   I understood him but didn’t agree with him 100% ( I stayed quiet)  the prison chaplain says that he was young once.  However, and I’ve did my share of bad things too, you just have to have something in you I don’t know what that is a line drawn in the sand, an inner voice whatever that tells you to STOP!  before the bad or illegal act is done.  I guess it’s a moral compass?  Many don’t seem to have it.   A lot of times you need to THINK before you do an act.  Many have never been taught that as youngsters.   

Take me for example I grew up in such an abusive environment here is how my step mother & my weakling Biological father would talk to me as a child….YOU NEED TO THINK!   or WHY DON’T YOU THINK?  or GOD DAMN IT JUST THINK!  During all this yelling I would be puzzled think to myself “think about what”?  Of course I couldn’t say that, want to know why?  I would catch a physical beating with God knows what.   Or sent to my room a.k.a. what I nick named solitary confinement (literally)

When that chaplain told me this it made me think about some things.  One is that a person just can’t go out & do whatever he/she wants (unless you got power) If your an average jane or joe you have to watch your step especially minorities.   And the other thing the prison chaplain had said was that the inmates ages ranged from 16 years of age…..16 years old everyone ( that’s a baby) to about 80.    I was told that the 16 year old boys were in the county jail for MURDER!  Say goodbye to your life youngsters!    

“All those young boys needed was a Father figure”  said the chaplain.  That made sense to me, as a female I grew up without a father around even though he was physically present in the ROOM sometimes!  (See my blog on No one had the time)

My role model of a Father was Lucas McCain from The Rifleman tv series, or Ward Cleaver from the Leave It To Beaver 1950’s tv classic show.  I loved Ward.

I guess I could consider myself lucky?  Because females make up a FAST growing inmate population in the United States everyone in fact the United States has THE highest inmate population in the entire World!   Don’t believe me go on YouTube or Google it up!  It’s terrible here.   Makes me want to catch a flight out of here!  Only thing that stops me is money right now.   Be glad that some of you who  read my blog don’t live in this crazy country the U.S. has so many problems in fact too many to list.   I stay vigilant especially whenever I walk out of my apartment door.

To be continued   & Stay safe!

Tips On Surviving Your Stay At Women’s Homeless Shelter

If you find yourself (God forbid) having to stay at a women’s shelter here are some survival tips that I hope will help.

Here goes:

  1. If your between say 16-20 go to an age appropriate shelter please, a women’s shelter isn’t the place for you, and a lot of us who are older really don’t have time to deal with the immaturity and you all have the immaturity.   If you find yourself in the company of the older women at a shelter then for God’s sake please don’t look to us to be your Mother or a guidance counselor we just do NOT have time . There are agencies you can go to  for your particular age group that can help with whatever issues your dealing with youngsters.  Look them up on the Google.
  2. Older women.   Don’t ever, ever become friends with ANY  of the shelter residents it’s just not a good idea.
  3. See #2 please.   If the shelter has you wake up at 6AM which is the standard time for shelter residents, then wake up one hour prior so you can get yourself ready, get your stuff together then get out before any of the residents have a chance to wake up.   This way you avoid any contact with toxic residents.  Remember this treat ALL shelter residents like the plague.  More often than not this environment is so, dysfunctional & full of DRAMA!
  4. Usually, there is a curfew.   Return as close to the curfew as possible.
  5. When you return for the shelter curfew take care to get yourself to bed.
  6. Avoid any residents when possible, if you have to talk with shelter staff then do so explaining to them that your there to get your housing & NOT to socialize with residents.   They should understand hopefully.
  7. Try to do your OWN laundry off the premises of the shelter.  Either go to a laundromat or a friend who has a washer & dryer.   If possible do your laundry piecemeal if you don’t have a car.   Try to squeeze as much as you can into a backpack.
  8. Don’t rely on the shelter case managers.
  9. Research resources on where to get what you need go to Google: type in homeless resources ( add your town) then go to work.   There is also 211.
  10. Hopefully you will have a good support network i.e. family, a significant other.
  11. If possible get yourself some entertainment like a portable DVD player so you can watch your favorite show.  Remember you don’t really want to interact with the shelter residents, this is for yourself to enjoy, but make sure you lock it up!  Remember those residents will STEAL YOUR STUFF!  So keep it secure.
  12. Try to get a gym membership that way you can shower there, I really wouldn’t recommend showering at the shelter.   You can figure out why.
  13. Ladies try to obtain a Post Office box somewhere, if possible ask a relative if you can receive your mail to save money.   One suggestion ladies DON’T get your mail at the shelter.   The shelter may LOSE it.   Your mail is too important.

This is only SOME of the things that I can think of for the moment it isn’t …how do I say this an extensive list but think of this list as a basic list for survival.   Remember steer clear of the other residents a homeless shelter environment is just not healthy I don’t care HOW nice the women seem.   One minute the women seem nice, the next the fangs are bared I know because I’ve witnessed how scary & unstable ( and they are unstable) homeless women are.   Your only there until you can get some stable form of housing whether that’s renting a room, renting a sublet or whatever your main goal is to NOT  get comfortable in that place for ANY length of time.   Your goal is to make strides in getting OUT!  Remember it ain’t a college dorm.

 

Sharing My Time At A Womens Homeless Shelter……Not Fun.

I woke up extremely early.   I sleep at all odd times of the day.  This morning I decided to do a search on random topics here on WordPress were there are some great bloggers on here, love the ones who have their pictures uploaded to their blog shout out to you.   However, I stopped dead in my tracks as it were on the blogs about homelessness.    It’s real.   It’s scary.   It’s like a nightmare that you can’t wake yourself up from everyone and that scares even me!  

So, back in 2014 I was living in an apartment out in the suburbs of a city I’d rather not say.   I had thought that I would be safe.  Sadly in this day & age there is just no such thing which is sad.

About four months into my stay at that particular apartment everyone there was a neighbor that moved in.    She turned out to be a nightmare.   Let me tell you why.

Right from the start she wants to get chummy with me.   Due to all the trauma which I’ve suffered in life, I don’t trust anyone.   Coming home one evening from helping my elderly Aunt there she was her door wide open house lights beaming brightly, and just as I was coming up the second flight of stairs she appeared seemingly out of nowhere she was like “Hi I’m your neighbor”  Now there is nothing wrong with that except I had a bad feeling that this one person was trouble.    It only got worse from there.   Real worse.  Vandalized porch lights where the porch landing was completely blacked out, the screaming , yelling, slamming violently of doors, oh and let me not forget the abuse of her kid, and bringing home men late at night.

Didn’t renew the lease, I didn’t feel safe.   Of course the landlord did nothing about it.  So I was lucky enough to get into a womens homeless shelter in the suburb I stayed in at the time.     Now let me say something about any shelter.   It really doesn’t matter WHERE the shelter is located it could be located in Beverly Hills or someplace upscale & tony like that, your still going to run into your bullies, control freaks, your CRAZY women and that’s what I ran into at this place.   No matter how well behaved YOU may be there will be someone that will try to F***k it up for the rest, get up REAL early banging around locker doors before wake up not caring about anyone else, a bully trying to test you, a woman who takes all the ICE CUBES when the one in the  refrigerator breaks down and so much more.

Women at the homeless shelters are plain crazy, if I had to do it over I wouldn’t.   

Here is what I encountered at one said shelter:

  1. One young woman 18 who didn’t seem to think that rules applied to her would wander over to the partition side which divided the women’s shelter & the church would regardless of the rules forbidding crossing over the partition did so  anyway possibly endangering the future of the shelter.  She just did not care.
  2. One woman kept bugging the other residents to come into a separate room to listen to some motivational tapes.  No one wanted to do that, so she copped an attitude, what this said to me….control issues.   Oh well.
  3. While drying my clothes in the dryer one evening a woman I had a slight beef  with who seemed to stay  so miserable with herself, well she threw some dry toilet paper into the same dryer that my clothes were drying in, well I guess it could have been worse.   Tip never leave your laundry alone in these places.  
  4. A very newly converted young muslim woman made such a racket early in the hours of 4AM which infuriated me.   For those of you not familiar with homeless shelter rules wake up time is 6 AM every morning no exceptions.   This moron who was 18 and had zero common sense + was so selfish just didn’t care which led to the two of us getting into a much heated argument.  I don’t mind her praying at 5AM but be RESPECTFUL for those of us getting that sleep.  Most if not all the muslim women have that courtesy, she did not!
  5. Most likely you WILL  be sharing space with women who have been severely abused…domestic violence.   Even for me this was a bit much and I come from an upbringing of violence.   You’ll hear some very disturbing stories at these places ladies.   Very disturbing.   So disturbing , that the way these women would tell it , for them it was like discussing what they will get for dinner at the local grocery store.  
  6. Be prepared when living in a womens shelter to be treated very unfairly.  These women WILL lie on you to staff, yes they can make up whatever they want getting you into all kinds of trouble and of course it’s behind your back.  Had it done to me by the 18 year old.   She really needed to be in a shelter with others her own age.  She was SO immature! 
  7. Youngsters when checking into a women’s shelter please STOP expecting the older women to give you any guidance or to be a Mother figure, we have problems of our own.  You need to go to a shelter for your OWN age group.   Understand? The attention seeking manipulation won’t work & it gets on our nerves.

I will share this with you that I don’t like to share even on here.   I had a nervous breakdown a really bad one while at the women’s shelter.   It came out of nowhere like when you have a sudden vomit spell.   That is what living in this place has done to me.  Now I do have an apartment , however living alone cause’s such a severe depression I now can’t get out of bed.   Very bad!  So each day I am setting a goal to try on looking to getting into an Adult living facility for able bodied adults not the other kind.  I have severe mental illness, I can function some but I have other liabilities that if I were to live with someone who functions at 100% I would drive them crazy.  Living alone is torture.   Luckily , I have months to get that together.   More work on an already overburdened brain.  And all I want to do is study in school.  It’s still a goal.   Sucks when there is no family.   I guess that’s why you get married but that never happened for me because guess what?  There has to be another person in the picture for that and out here society is pretty cut throat & full of betrayal both of which I experienced .   then there is that issue of finding someone you actually like!

Well time to end for now.  It is nearing 7AM I will check in later.   Thanks for reading everyone.  Post script:  womens shelters are dangerous for those not in the know , the so called shelter staff (what a joke) won’t do a thing for you!  What that means is if someone is picking a physical fight with you ( which does happen) often the staff looks the other way.  Why you may ask?  well I think that it maybe because the shelter staff doesn’t want to be bothered.  The staff also are not the most honest in the world either so in this tech age make sure you use your phone cam’s to get that evidence on tape!   Shelter staff fall asleep on the job.  Unacceptable!   I say this because the staff are not being paid to sleep, they are paid to keep an eye overnight on the sleeping residents IN THEIR CHARGE!   Anything can & does happen.   A fire for example….HELLO? Can’t do much if your catching those zzzz’s.   My own Mother had to help run a business staying up all night balancing books, do you know what she took to stay awake?  an over the counter product called No Doz which are caffeine pills.   I was mortified to discover this when I had an issue with a crazy resident in the shelter’s bathroom who had left all of her underwear across the entire four sinks….yes nasty.   I tried to go to the staff person but guess what I saw once I got to the office?   The office lights were turned OFF! and she was sleeping just as peacefully.   This is what you’ll encounter at a womens shelter.   Those staff think homeless women are NOTHING!  the staff don’t care!  To them working at the shelter is JUST A PAYCHECK!   My next blog will be tips to survive living in these places.

 

Wake Up It Could Happen To You

In honor of Poverty Awareness Month, we thought you should know these seven facts about homelessness. 7. You could fill five football stadiums with the homeless population of the U.S. At least 564,708 people were homeless on a given night in January of 2015 in the U.S., according to the Department of Housing and Urban Development’s […]

via 7 Things You Didn’t Know About Homelessness — Mercy Housing News

This Goes Out To The Person Who Posted On I hate Seattle Website

Now I don’t proclaim to be the biggest fan of living in the Pacific Northwest.   I for the most part can’t stand it here.  But even I have to step in to defend the city to a complete hateful basher who for the most part seemed like he had experienced a lot of rejection from the opposite sex more than once.  Lets begin.

The women are extremely ugly?  and I quote this scumbag nicely is just not true.  We may not look like we stepped right off a vogue magazine but we women of the Pacific Northwest aren’t dog meat either.   And if I were to confront this asshole I would ask him how do you measure beauty?   Let me tell you male retard I come from a pretty good gene pool I am not a monster ugly woman nor have I seen some that look that way.   This retard was THE most abusively brutal online troll that I’ve seen in a long time.   Yes a troll, he was that nasty.   There are attractive women up here I know because I’ve seen them I belong to that gene pool.  

Then came how people in the Pacific Northwest dress.  That bothered me a lot.  Let me just say that this isn’t Los Angeles , or New York, this is the Pacific Northwest everyone dresses down.  People dress down because there really is no reason to dress up.   Dress up to go were you fool?   I need to point out that everywhere else people dress down.  Everywhere else, so stop talking down to people in the Pacific Northwest  .   I was bothered by something (well everything this asshole said bothered me) the person posting online had said that everyone here in the PNW dressed like we were going on a hike?   Okay snot nosed punk, it rains a lot here have you ever thought in that pea brain of yours that MAYBE here we don’t wear our nicest clothes BECAUSE of all the inclement weather we get.  And I mean it POURS! so it only makes sense to dress in the most basic of clothes angry dude.

So no the women aren’t ugly NOPE your perceptions are skewered there fool!

The dress is just fine YOU online troll just want someone to bully.   Go elsewhere but I guarantee everywhere else is basically the same…..unless you travel in the damn celebrity circles and even the celebrities dress down when those camera’s aren’t around do you even pay attention?  I need to point out to you online troll that EVERYWHERE people dress down, all this rant about people in the PNW dressing like they’re on a hike?  what does that even mean?  Perhaps if YOU TAKE A HIKE somehow maybe all that aggression may be worked out of you!   

THE HOMELESS!  I hate to break it to you homey but it’s EVERYWHERE in every city, every state.   People have lost their jobs, there is no money coming in just where do you expect them to find money?   Have you even paid attention to what’s going on around you in the World?   It’s not just a problem here in the PNW its every where…..wake up please.

Technical jobs & the guys that work them well hey they do garner the attention because they are the rock stars.  Personally I don’t give them much attention I didn’t grown in up a tech age.   I’m intelligent, I’m in good in math,  but techie’s hold about as much interest for me as the 200th season of “The Big Bang Theory”

So dude with the pent up frustration if your mad that no lady is paying YOU any attention then here’s a thought instead of whining about it like a woman DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT PLEASE then shut up!  You mention you were in a bar, all the women were flocking to the techie men with the jobs what does that tell you?  If it were me I would go somewhere else….what do you think?    You’ve got to use your head instead of the other head.    Besides BARS are no place to meet ANYONE of substance if you are smart enough you’d know that wouldn’t you?   Come on guy if you describe yourself as an everyday Joe then wouldn’t it stand to reason that you should go somewhere else.   Use the head between your ears.  I think that you could stand for some good old fashioned rigorous exercise, then find something to keep you occupied I sure wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you because you sound on the verge of going over the edge.   Hell take up writing, self publish something.  But take it from me, you really need to take those damn blinders off then start working on the inside cause you won’t change anything within the PNW.   

Something else that caught my eye about this odious article was the assumption made by this parasite that no one here in the PNW is worldly.   WRONG!  I have traveled extensively.   That’s right Goober!  I’ve lived in the following cities:

  1. Los Angles
  2. Colorado Springs
  3. Virginia
  4. South Carolina
  5. Kaiserslautern West Germany
  6. Hawaii

My biggest mistake was returning to the PNW a mistake I regret to this very day.   So when you say that people here are not you simply do not know what you are talking about, at all.   You stupid fool.   I’m so glad to call you on your stupidity.  Cause you possess a lot of it.

 

 

 

 

Lets Talk About Suicide

I’m not an expert on the subject, but lets face it living life the way I do is a bitch!   No I have no magical answers, because I have to some level I want to die just about everyday.   I don’ t like living on my own, I don’t like not having the kind of friends that I want, I don’t like the quality of my life.    I do nothing, go nowhere, and I feel stuck, I have to tell you I do the best I can to problem solve but I end up with nothing.  I have tons of regrets wished I could have started life in ANY city than the one I live in.   The Pacific Northwest SUCKS!   It’s full of hate yes it is, liberal my ass!   Lgbt are hateful, whites are hateful, African Americans treat you like an alien, and other minorities act as though you don’t even belong.     I call it as I see it.    Therapists don’t want to deal with certain minorities don’t believe me do the research yourself…….if your latino:  great,   Asian: great   African American: sorry I have no openings .

And the constitution says every man is created equal?   I think not everyone.  Bruce Lee once was quoted as saying that the U.S. constitution everyman was created equal…..yeah everyone that’s white.

African Americans have a high suicide rate.   A person can only take so much.   I want to be loved, treated equally but that just isn’t going to happen.   I’m hoping to make it happen for myself but that is easier said than done.   Because I only know all too well that no one gives a damn about me.    I’m the invisible woman or I’m often looked upon with great disdain.    Really?   I’ve suffered at the hands of people who’ve done nothing but want to hurt me since I was 5 years old everyone one if you only knew the indignities, bullying, molestation were no one else was around to see to it that I was safe.   It’s now hard NOT  TO see that when it comes to women especially black women we seem as disposable as a tampon.    More to come

Don’t Jump!  Life still is shit.     😦