Sharing My Time At A Womens Homeless Shelter……Not Fun.

I woke up extremely early.   I sleep at all odd times of the day.  This morning I decided to do a search on random topics here on WordPress were there are some great bloggers on here, love the ones who have their pictures uploaded to their blog shout out to you.   However, I stopped dead in my tracks as it were on the blogs about homelessness.    It’s real.   It’s scary.   It’s like a nightmare that you can’t wake yourself up from everyone and that scares even me!  

So, back in 2014 I was living in an apartment out in the suburbs of a city I’d rather not say.   I had thought that I would be safe.  Sadly in this day & age there is just no such thing which is sad.

About four months into my stay at that particular apartment everyone there was a neighbor that moved in.    She turned out to be a nightmare.   Let me tell you why.

Right from the start she wants to get chummy with me.   Due to all the trauma which I’ve suffered in life, I don’t trust anyone.   Coming home one evening from helping my elderly Aunt there she was her door wide open house lights beaming brightly, and just as I was coming up the second flight of stairs she appeared seemingly out of nowhere she was like “Hi I’m your neighbor”  Now there is nothing wrong with that except I had a bad feeling that this one person was trouble.    It only got worse from there.   Real worse.  Vandalized porch lights where the porch landing was completely blacked out, the screaming , yelling, slamming violently of doors, oh and let me not forget the abuse of her kid, and bringing home men late at night.

Didn’t renew the lease, I didn’t feel safe.   Of course the landlord did nothing about it.  So I was lucky enough to get into a womens homeless shelter in the suburb I stayed in at the time.     Now let me say something about any shelter.   It really doesn’t matter WHERE the shelter is located it could be located in Beverly Hills or someplace upscale & tony like that, your still going to run into your bullies, control freaks, your CRAZY women and that’s what I ran into at this place.   No matter how well behaved YOU may be there will be someone that will try to F***k it up for the rest, get up REAL early banging around locker doors before wake up not caring about anyone else, a bully trying to test you, a woman who takes all the ICE CUBES when the one in the  refrigerator breaks down and so much more.

Women at the homeless shelters are plain crazy, if I had to do it over I wouldn’t.   

Here is what I encountered at one said shelter:

  1. One young woman 18 who didn’t seem to think that rules applied to her would wander over to the partition side which divided the women’s shelter & the church would regardless of the rules forbidding crossing over the partition did so  anyway possibly endangering the future of the shelter.  She just did not care.
  2. One woman kept bugging the other residents to come into a separate room to listen to some motivational tapes.  No one wanted to do that, so she copped an attitude, what this said to me….control issues.   Oh well.
  3. While drying my clothes in the dryer one evening a woman I had a slight beef  with who seemed to stay  so miserable with herself, well she threw some dry toilet paper into the same dryer that my clothes were drying in, well I guess it could have been worse.   Tip never leave your laundry alone in these places.  
  4. A very newly converted young muslim woman made such a racket early in the hours of 4AM which infuriated me.   For those of you not familiar with homeless shelter rules wake up time is 6 AM every morning no exceptions.   This moron who was 18 and had zero common sense + was so selfish just didn’t care which led to the two of us getting into a much heated argument.  I don’t mind her praying at 5AM but be RESPECTFUL for those of us getting that sleep.  Most if not all the muslim women have that courtesy, she did not!
  5. Most likely you WILL  be sharing space with women who have been severely abused…domestic violence.   Even for me this was a bit much and I come from an upbringing of violence.   You’ll hear some very disturbing stories at these places ladies.   Very disturbing.   So disturbing , that the way these women would tell it , for them it was like discussing what they will get for dinner at the local grocery store.  
  6. Be prepared when living in a womens shelter to be treated very unfairly.  These women WILL lie on you to staff, yes they can make up whatever they want getting you into all kinds of trouble and of course it’s behind your back.  Had it done to me by the 18 year old.   She really needed to be in a shelter with others her own age.  She was SO immature! 
  7. Youngsters when checking into a women’s shelter please STOP expecting the older women to give you any guidance or to be a Mother figure, we have problems of our own.  You need to go to a shelter for your OWN age group.   Understand? The attention seeking manipulation won’t work & it gets on our nerves.

I will share this with you that I don’t like to share even on here.   I had a nervous breakdown a really bad one while at the women’s shelter.   It came out of nowhere like when you have a sudden vomit spell.   That is what living in this place has done to me.  Now I do have an apartment , however living alone cause’s such a severe depression I now can’t get out of bed.   Very bad!  So each day I am setting a goal to try on looking to getting into an Adult living facility for able bodied adults not the other kind.  I have severe mental illness, I can function some but I have other liabilities that if I were to live with someone who functions at 100% I would drive them crazy.  Living alone is torture.   Luckily , I have months to get that together.   More work on an already overburdened brain.  And all I want to do is study in school.  It’s still a goal.   Sucks when there is no family.   I guess that’s why you get married but that never happened for me because guess what?  There has to be another person in the picture for that and out here society is pretty cut throat & full of betrayal both of which I experienced .   then there is that issue of finding someone you actually like!

Well time to end for now.  It is nearing 7AM I will check in later.   Thanks for reading everyone.  Post script:  womens shelters are dangerous for those not in the know , the so called shelter staff (what a joke) won’t do a thing for you!  What that means is if someone is picking a physical fight with you ( which does happen) often the staff looks the other way.  Why you may ask?  well I think that it maybe because the shelter staff doesn’t want to be bothered.  The staff also are not the most honest in the world either so in this tech age make sure you use your phone cam’s to get that evidence on tape!   Shelter staff fall asleep on the job.  Unacceptable!   I say this because the staff are not being paid to sleep, they are paid to keep an eye overnight on the sleeping residents IN THEIR CHARGE!   Anything can & does happen.   A fire for example….HELLO? Can’t do much if your catching those zzzz’s.   My own Mother had to help run a business staying up all night balancing books, do you know what she took to stay awake?  an over the counter product called No Doz which are caffeine pills.   I was mortified to discover this when I had an issue with a crazy resident in the shelter’s bathroom who had left all of her underwear across the entire four sinks….yes nasty.   I tried to go to the staff person but guess what I saw once I got to the office?   The office lights were turned OFF! and she was sleeping just as peacefully.   This is what you’ll encounter at a womens shelter.   Those staff think homeless women are NOTHING!  the staff don’t care!  To them working at the shelter is JUST A PAYCHECK!   My next blog will be tips to survive living in these places.