Since I was five years old all I ever experienced was intolerance.
First time I experienced it was the 17 year old cousin who viciously beat me up shoving me around like a rag doll because he was jealous I was getting all the attention I was receiving from other relatives, I was 5 at the time. My Mother, Stepfather & I were in town for the Stepfathers Mothers funeral. We stayed at the Stepfathers brothers house. The cousin was a mean son of a bitch you all know the type spoiled rotten and not much of a man. Karma caught up with him i.e. poor health, so he’s dead. Through the years I’ve faced so much discrimination it seems from the moment I even open my mouth to say anything. Being articulate has worked against me for so many years way before we elected our first African American president. I was always intelligent and in my opinion smart enough to have been enrolled in honors programs…..that is if anyone bothered to even notice I was there! No attention whatsoever. I say racial bias. Others may say something else. I get triggered easily due to the unfair & abusive treatment I received throughout the years. How can I not? Take for example that new show coming out about the character on the The Big Bang Theory (don’t watch it) now there will be a show about the lead character Sheldon’s childhood & how bright he was having went to high school as a mere child.
I had issues with it. It rubbed me the wrong way because as a child I was real smart, asked tons of questions, read voraciously anything I could get my hands on, however it seemed to me that no one wanted to be bothered. Not the teachers, my parents were , well actually my Mother was too busy being a punching bag to the former Marine my step dad. I was SHAFTED. I even ran for class president didn’t win simply due to bias. I went to congratulate the winner & all he did was ignore me like I wasn’t even there! Yes that affected me. I felt cheated. Now currently I’m trying desperately to make up for lost time. It sucks. More examples of intolerance with which I received
Getting out of the military I can remember going to:
The veterans regional office (they just were no help, they offered me zip in services contrary to what most people believe)
A Job employment agency were I was treated no better than a lamp post, “Here take this card with the address report to _________________” “NEXT”!
The Center For Career Alternatives located in Seattle – I would meet with the counselors who were always MALE & who seemed to have some kind of chip on their shoulder about something, all I got was treated poorly + I never did get any help from them. I think that they viewed me as someone that was less than deserving of help? I also suspected something more sinister but that is something I can’t prove. Just a gut feeling I had.
The Goodwill Employment Training program in 2000. Attempted to get into the program that year I arrived at the orientation a couple of minutes late & the facilitator lady was REALLY verbally abusive towards me when it wasn’t necessary. I mean she was NASTY towards me & she humiliated me right in front of EVERYONE. A simple polite but firm “your late” would have sufficed, but again there was that nasty intolerance on her part. If memory serves me this same person also made mention that she was happily married & that her wedding dress cost a couple thousand dollars! What did this have to do with any job training at Goodwill? nothing, but I guess bragging about what she had made herself feel better.
The Air Force recruitment office. The recruitment officer there showed ZERO interest that I completed my enlistment in the U.S. Army, had gotten out with an honorable discharge , he just didn’t seem interested in any of that. Oh, he also said that despite my having served honorably in addition to completing my enlistment that I would have to start ALL OVER again if accepted into the air force. Something I felt wasn’t right, I knew something about these things & felt that I should have entered with some rank & I felt that I should by pass basic training altogether. He didn’t explain squat to me & by his demeanor he didn’t give a shit. I was 22 years old at the time in great shape (the cut off to join is 27 years old) . Again I felt that it was bias treatment, but I couldn’t really prove that. Again I was deflated. I think that it was around this time that I simply DRIFTED . I visited my Father in Los Angeles collected unemployment then just wandered around, going to Hollywood, Santa Monica. I was lost.
No family support. My Dad when he was alive & with whom I lived with was never home….just like when I was a kid. He was a transient. I had brothers but they were always into some kind of trouble & never home.
I guess my point is that I feel that when it comes to receiving any fair treatment? Certain people still remain at the bottom of the food chain. It’s who you know in this society. I know that no one does care about me, and it’s what makes me tough. It’s very difficult but I’m very tough. I just wish that in this so called racially prejudiced society that when they say a more tolerant society please include women of color to that list! I know all too well about institutional racism, it exists! It exists for Black on black, white on black.
As far as all these other issues I would prefer to focus on myself because I know all about UNFAIR + intolerance over the way I look & speak. It’s been a lifetime for me people. Until I can get what I need will I even begin to focus on the intolerance of others because I can say this to ANY of you out there please do NOT compare being ( include the issue) to being African American it isn’t the same at all! I need the tolerance & love. All this stuff about gender neutral bathrooms, among other stuff coming up is way more than I can handle. I need first for my needs to be met. Understand?