Like everyone else I attended primary school as a child. Actually it felt more like the public zoo because the kids I remember going to school with were hyenas. very aggressive, and spoke in sexual graphic terms. I didn’t like shit like that.
I’ve been talking with a school advisor at a local trade school so that I can improve the conditions of my life which is bleak, so all of the issues have been brought up to the surface, school for me was a nightmare!
School yard bullies: I grew up in the inner city of Los Angeles California. If you don’t know much about L.A. then I will enlighten you. The Los Angeles Unified School District is THE WORSE school system this side of the West Coast. I’m not kidding. The boys who I remember going to school with were BIG in size. I don’t know what their parents were feeding them but they were almost the size of a teenage young man. Bring your lunch? Be prepared to get it stolen & you could go hungry. Oh, and money you were expected to bring in 1 dollar (which when your poor is a lot of money) or expect to get the shit kicked out of you. Happened to me.
Overcrowding in the classroom was so bad that the teachers solution? was to have the kids in the classroom tutor each other. Now that is not a totally bad idea, however for ME I was in school to LEARN. I needed the education which I was cheated out of. I can remember I was expected to help a classmate with his reading. What I got for my trouble was: I was punched, verbally abused, and shamed over any & everything it did not matter. I was an extremely sensitive child so to go through this ordeal was similar to being tortured. And what I felt didn’t seem to matter to the teachers because they didn’t want to be bothered, why? the teachers were just too impatient, they didn’t want to do the job that they were paid to do which was insure that the kids LEARN. Warning to parents don’t enroll your kids at a certain elementary school that is on West Olympic blvd.
Back to the subject of food: If by chance you were lucky NOT to have your lunch stolen you weren’t off the hook. Once you took out your sandwich + other goodies out of your lunchbox or lunch bag you would have kids circling around you quicker than vultures circling around dead carrion out in the desert. I usually didn’t have that problem because I had a Stepmother that would feed me like I was a starving model (despite being so thin my clothes would hang off me) example: carrot sticks, watery vegetable soup, crackers (sometimes) food that you don’t really give a growing 9-11 year old youngster.
I could not concentrate on school. To this day I don’t like school. Never received support, help, nothing. I think it’s now called “falling through the cracks” whatever it was called attending public school with the aggressive kids….and I mean aggressive hyper sexed, extremely mean everything, has left me with deep psychological scars. No one ever noticed what I was going through, asked me what I was going through, or even asked me how my day was. I think that I did try to open up about the difficulty to the step mom about school & her response was “Well you must have done something to deserve it” or something to that effect. I think it was at this point I stopped trusting in ANY ADULT!
I have had NO ONE to talk to about this. Such a world I live in.
I want to write two blogs this is one of them, this is about gangs & how I hate them. They’re arrogant, mean, sociopathic. I can’t seem to understand how since they don’t own zoning rights how these cretins can just TAKE OVER any sidewalk they please right out in the middle of the day drinking a 12 pack of Corona’s. these are young men who block the sidewalk at 4:30PM. I can’t stand them. Sorry young men you aren’t all that I don’t care how much clout you may or may not have. I don’t know last time I checked I have the right to walk to & from the store without feeling intimidated.
I have no love for you . But hey you belong to a gang so that makes you so invincible to anything. You can take over where ever you want right? Gangs are losers. I don’t care if you have no family of your own. So? Be your own man & not some follower.
I’m pretty much anti sports. My love is for arts, writing, anything creative. I want to puke every time I hear about the Seattle Seahawks, or anything sports related. I think that my loathing for sports are more directed at the athletes themselves. I’ve experienced & seen how much of a chauvinist they can be towards women. Now they seem to love kids which is great but when it comes to women? They act like pigs these athletes.
When out in public the pro athletes think that they’re too good to wait in a line, as was the case when one day I was at a Subway sandwich shop down the street from where the Seattle Seahawks practice for their training. Two of the players from the team came in, so in addition to myself that made 3. Now I know that these two are not stupid, but somehow I guess they thought that they were too good to wait in line beside me but instead wanted to order at the cash register. I simply looked at them like they were crazy. I did wonder why those too goobers didn’t use a runner to get their lunch. See I could care less about your pro athlete status. My opinion is for those of the celebrity status is to stay in your protective bubble if you don’t want to deal with the real world. Hated those jack asses.
Back in my night clubbing days when I was young I was with my best friend at the time. We were at one of the hottest clubs in Seattle at the time so of course we had no trouble getting past the bouncer. The club was packed there was a pro basketball team in town the rival team I won’t say who it was. This was when Seattle had the Sonics. Well, one of the rival team members took a liking to my friend and was talking to her. My friend went to excuse herself she went somewhere I can’t remember might have been the bathroom. So at the table it was just me & Mr. Sullen (not his name of course) so I tried to engage in some light conversation just to be polite ( remember I was younger, didn’t really pick up on the cue that he might not want to talk) However, all he did was frown at me, then said nothing. Okay , I was deeply hurt. Yes he was an ass hole who played for a city in a town that has nothing but superficial people + assholes, but would it have killed him to be polite. I don’t care if he is a pro basketball player. So what! it made no difference to me.
There have been other pro athlete’s which I’ve encountered who have just made my skin crawl with their sexist remarks. I won’t go into these awful experience’s because it will get me upset. However, it may be why I hate pro sports of any kind. It wasn’t always that way. As a child I loved to watch basketball. But as I grew older & I would meet some of these jerks that changed the way in how I view pro sports. I hate sports. Soccer seems okay but now it’s becoming mainstream like football, basketball, baseball. I have to say here locally where I live I hate seeing those stupid banners with the “12” on them. I have such an aversion to seeing those banners. I can’t wait for the day when I can move out of here so I won’t have to see anymore seahawk decals, or banners with the number 12. I don’t care if this town gets a new sports arena either. There is so much talk about the millions of dollars it will take to build a new sports arena. I’m a bit baffled because shouldn’t the town be concerned with our current homeless problem?
To be continued….
If you don’t believe that racism in the job market is real, then please read this article by Yolanda Spivey. Spivey, who was seeking work in the insurance industry, found that she wasn’t getting any job offers. But as an experiment, she changed her name to Bianca White, to see if employers would respond differently. You’ll be shocked and amazed by her phenomenal story.
Before I begin, let me quote the late, great, Booker T. Washington who said, “Of all forms of slavery there is none that is so harmful and degrading as that form of slavery which tempts one human being to hate another by reason of his race or color.”
For two years, I have been unemployed. In the beginning, I applied to more than three hundred open positions in the insurance industry—an industry that I’ve worked in for the previous ten years. Not one employer responded to…
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It’s 4AM as I type this. What can I say I hate to sleep or sleep doesn’t come easy for me, guess I feel that when I go to sleep it would leave me vulnerable to…I don’t know someone who would want to break in or some sort of chaos with these crazy neighbors (it’s happened) .
Anyway, I digress. I don’t like riding the bus! Now I realize that no one really likes riding the bus. But I avoid it when I can. Here are some of the experience’s I’ve encountered that have left me totally traumatized were I now have a phobia of riding public transportation.
People who ride are just totally CRAZY! It’s not those one’s who talk to themselves those ones I can tolerate. Let me give you some of what I’ve encountered & see if you might not agree with me.
- I sat across a guy who was snorting some sort of drug up his nose from a cellophane type wrapper. Now it’s one thing to see this sort of thing on TV , I’ve seen the National Geographic show DRUGS INC. However to see something like this in person is ….well traumatizing, I felt violated . And to make it all the more worse the bus I was riding on that day was packed this was a bus headed out to the University District of Seattle. I felt sick to my stomach being a witness to that + shocked. This happened years ago. Some people just don’t give a shit.
- Again while riding a packed bus in the city of Tukwila in Wa. a guy was puking into a plastic bag, long dripping ropes of saliva & all. I felt so nauseas I made my way through the crowd of people excusing myself, then GOT OFF THE BUS well before my stop. Now I know the guy was sick, but it was GROSS!
- On one bus ride through the city of Tukwila in front of a mall one summer a young man who was shirtless came on the bus which being that it was a warm day in summer wasn’t all that bad EXCEPT, he was carrying a BELT folded in half like he planned on using it on someone. Now for those of you who may be thinking “oh no big deal” witnessing this threw me into a panic attack because I was severely abused with a belt many, many times as a child. I can’t remember what happened after that. I was FRIGHTENED. The young man seemed aggressive which didn’t help matters much.
- This one particular year was in the 1980’s which I spent living with my Father in Los Angeles. I was riding one of those old diesel fueled buses when an outbreak of roaches (this is true) was spreading all over the bus, even the bus driver was agitated. I did phone that one in to RTD (Rapid Transit)
- Now THE WORST experience to date while riding a bus had to be August 6th, 2010. That year I had been riding out to the suburb of Redmond on my way to my Tae Kwon Do lessons on this day I thought that this ride would be a piece of cake , I couldn’t have been more wrong! On this ride there was a mentally ill young woman who looked like a young boy with her butch crew cut + thick eyebrows, she begins to yell obscenities about 15 minutes into the ride to her Mother & didn’t stop. She yelled this over & over & over. No one did anything. I mean you can only stand so much of hearing “Fuck you Mother” over & over, I mean was I riding the bus or listening to Linda Blair on the movie The Exorcist? Oh wait it got worse after the bus GOT OFF the freeway FINALLY to pull over the crazy woman attempted to SMASH OUT the window of the bus screaming obscenities the whole time. It was about this time I had reached my limit. I have severe bipolar that year (2010) I had not been fully diagnosed nor had I been on any meds. I stood up in my seat, turned around & said (or yelled I can’t remember) the following: “Mom, you’ve got to get your boy on some med’s (remember the young woman, I mistook for a boy by her appearance). And OMG the slew of garbage coming out of that sewer of a mouth of hers. She called me NIGGER at least a dozen times. I remember she said “I’ll kill you NIGGER,” “You fat bitch”, “you whore” “I’ll kill you with my knife” . It was HORRIBLE! I was FROZEN where I stood. I was in complete shock. Soooo , basically the bus driver called the police dept, then instructed EVERYONE OFF THE BUS! I have no idea why. I asked the bus driver if I should stay, but he said no (no idea why) I was in shock & I wasn’t thinking real clearly & quite frankly? I really hadn’t understood WHAT had just happened.
- So the police arrived, I’m standing outside the bus, I walked over to the officers to try to tell them about the young woman who threatened me. The one officer replied with: “Oh we know her, she does this all the time”. I was left even more confused so I simply walked over to where the other passengers had been waiting then all of us boarded the replacement bus, and I headed off to my Tae Kwon Do class were I was a total wreck! I don’t think that anyone in that damn school bothered to ask if I was okay, because it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t myself. I felt completely sick to my stomach. That evil troll still rides the bus too because sometime last year, sure enough as I boarded a bus coming from the library there she was riding with a friend of hers (She has friends?). I made sure to give her the dirtiest look of contempt I could muster. I have to admit I hope that one day she gets whats coming to her. This is how I feel.
- You all want to know something else? I’ve rode the bus with MS-13 gangsters (13 was tattooed on back of their head) and felt safer than my experience on that Redmond Sound transit bus riding with that evil bitch troll I’ve told you about in #5 ,6. Oh yeah.
So boys & girls thanks for reading, I feel in writing this out I can purge the trauma out, and I feel in some small way you support me. Please show me some love! Now time for coffee & a cig!