Born Into To This!

 Growing up as a young girl I never felt valued.  For good reason.   We live in a gender biased society.   I know, I’ve witnessed it first hand.    Another bias which I’ve noticed all of my life is that of my learning disability because of all the trauma I suffered being taken from my Mother and let me say that mere words just can’t describe how painful that was, to being physically & mentally tortured, the isolation type of punishment that equaled real incarceration for the adults I was really pushed to the brink of near insanity.   I struggled all through out school K-12.  And all I got was looks of contempt, impatience, disgust and this came from the teachers, the adults, the adults who were supposed to care for me, as well as the other kids I grew up around.   I always felt completely ignored just like a night stand or end table.   I sometimes questioned to myself if I was even an actual breathing human being I often felt that I wasn’t a part of my body, see this is what being ignored + neglected does to you this is something that should NOT be overlooked and that is paying attention to others.   Confusion was a daily occurrence with me.   Angry people (especially directed towards me) was all I knew,  Impatience, I wish I could have experienced love, fun, and belonging instead I felt alienated, bullied, shamed because I’m not the right gender & I don’t belong.   I don’t understand why females i.e. girls, young women, older women I don’t understand why we are treated like dog meat!   It is NOT  fair.    

You know what else?  Why are women NOT taken seriously or listened to?  Especially among the MEN!  Men still seem to treat women like they should stay in the freaking kitchen.   I feel that there is no equality .       I can remember an occasion a few years ago I was at my Aunts house, the step cousins one of them a male was talking to the other cousin & reminiscing about times playing football in the street of Los Angeles well into the evening.   Well I did the same thing  during the early years I stayed with my biological father.    His odious former 2nd Wife had some nephews who always played football in the street.   In fact I played football with Dad at the park during summer picnics as a child..   I guess I wasn’t supposed to talk & just keep my mouth shut because when I chimed in that I too used to play football in the street the cousin looked at me like I had lost my mind!   I couldn’t really explain the look, but it was a disturbing one.   I demand equality, this is one reason I want to run my own business where I get to call the shots.    I don’t know but I can tell you a lot of men seem really intimidated by an intelligent woman.   You can’t join in on conversations, you can’t do anything except stay in the kitchen I guess.   Well SURPRISE!   I ain’t one of those kind of women.   I would more than likely tell a man to get his own damn dinner.    Part of the reason I have some anger is that while growing up I was treated like shit!   I was told that women weren’t good as men, I witnessed how my Mother was treated when she was married you all know the story the Husband who loves to fuck around, but still expect his dinner, and have his draws washed.   Or my favorite the Husband who leaves his wife of many, many years to go with a younger woman.   One particular man lost his life around that, you all know the story it made headlines.    

I want to be treated with respect, I want to be treated with dignity.   I talk to who I want, when I want and if you feel the need to disrespect me then I will disrespect you back.    Men you need to treat women better.