I Remember Jonestown.

I was in High school that year, struggling extremely bad in school.  During history class, the class went to the school library to research our term papers of which I had no idea how to write, what to write, nor had I any idea how to research what I wanted to write, since I had undiagnosed ADHD.   I basically was leaning along the library check out counter feeling very depressed it was mid afternoon, when a hand with a magazine was shoved inches from my face.  

“Have you ever seen anything so disgusting? Good God”!  said my history teacher I’ll call him Mr. Jones.   On that cover of the Newsweek magazine were the bodies of the dead.   The Jonestown Massacre.   My blood went so cold I swear it felt as though I was walking into a walk in refrigerator like when I used to work at McDonald’s.   I was frightened, in shock.   My history teacher was totally crazy too.

Aside from being a horrible dresser and I mean BAD no iron, nothing matched, clothes too small for his frame, horrible dresser, he was I now believe a bit mentally OFF!  I’m watching documentaries on the Heavens Gate cult.  If you want to read something crazy?  Go Google up Marshall Applewhite & the Heaven’s gate cult.   Anyway this is why I had this memory of Jonestown or that cover of Newsweek magazine with all of the cult members who drank the poisoned Kool Aid out of the vat.  This is were the expression “don’t drink the Kool Aid comes from.  It seemed I was always around crazy people.  And now, I stay to myself because it seems to me people are mentally crazy or completely AGGRESSIVE!   I’m too frightened to get close to ANYONE!  Teachers have failed me, my parents REALLY DID fail me and the world is literally falling apart!  I’m not kidding either.    Take tonight for example the neighbor I live next door to her Husband just yelled obscenities through my door then kicked in the wall using the hallway entrance door.  Something that makes me angry but that’s not all.   I’ll file a restraining order so he doesn’t come anywhere near my apartment door.   That and I’ve ordered a stun gun.   I don’t like were I live.   Who can you trust these days?  People either want to use you, want to F**K you, or verbally abuse you, or kill you.   Oh yes!   You know what I want?  to move to a nice quiet village far away from all the ugliness.   And living in this world is UGLY!  But don’t take my word for it just step out of your door & look all around you.